The Ugly Side of Planning a Wedding

The Ugly Side of Planning a Wedding


I’m still over the moon excited to be engaged to my amazing boyfriend. I can’t wait for us to be married and start out life together. I shared some wedding inspiration here and here but wanted to give an update. In the efforts to keep it real on my blog, I want to be honest about the ugly side of planning a wedding. It is a lot more stressful than I realized. I know that a lot of women really glamorize the wedding process and enjoy it, but it’s something we are struggling with.  Here are some major things I’ve noticed:

It’s expensive – Add the word wedding to anything and the price doubles! We all know that the price of weddings has gone up but according to CNN Money the average cost of a wedding in 2016 was $32,641. Excuse me while I pick my jaw off the floor. That is absolutely insane to me and something we refuse to contribute to.

Beside the sheer amount of money that a wedding costs, the major thing that scares me is how the amount of money you spend on a wedding is correlated to the divorce rate. (meaning, the more money you spend on your wedding the higher the odds are that you get divorced) They always say that money is the top reason for divorce. So why would I start my marriage stressed about money?

I’m not a party planner – The next scary thing about planning a wedding is actually planning it. I’m not party planner and don’t claim to be one so planning a party for 200 people is extremely intimidating! I can find inspiration on Pinterest but bringing it to life is another thing! I work full-time and write this blog, I don’t have that much time for researching and creating those projects.

Apparently my fiancé is more traditional then I knew – I tried to convince my fiancé that we should go to the courthouse to get married but he stopped it pretty quick. I never would have guessed but he want’s a traditional wedding more than I do!

So many decisions – At the end of the day there are so many decisions! There are big decisions about where and when to have your wedding then small details like what color the napkins should be… I feel confident saying the list is endless. My fiancé has been great about helping with these decisions, I feel like a lot of them are left to me.

It’s the brides day – This is a phrase I hear all the time and it kills me! Yes, a lot about weddings has to do with the bride but the reason people are coming to your wedding is to celebrate your love and the start of your marriage.  I think your wedding day should be about your love together not doing everything the bride wants.

My fiancé and I have agreed that we aren’t going to let the wedding planning process overwhelm us.  We aren’t going to let the pressures of planning a wedding get to us because we are going to do it our way. We’ve set a budget (well below the $32k average) and agreed on what we want. At the end of the day, we don’t want it to be just another wedding. We want it to be all about our love and future together.

Are you engaged? Do you feel this way planning your wedding?

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Cheers Robyn
  • Sarah, I love your honesty here! Oh my goodness, weddings are SO expensive and it’s crazy that it’s just one day too. Not to mention all the stress and trying to make everyone happy. Sheeeeesh! It’s like a full time job.

    Here are a few tips that kept my sanity (we had a 5 month engagement because we wanted the wedding planning process to be as short as possible!). Of course, take this with a grain of salt, because everyone is different and you probably have already thought of these things!

    A. Give the vendors your “vision” and let them do their thing. AKA let the experts do their job and don’t think twice about it. It makes your life SO much easier and don’t even think about the rest.

    B. Designate a friend/family member to do these things for you in advance (NOT a bridesmaid, or MOM):
    1. Bring you and your bridesmaids lunch while you’re getting ready on your wedding day (same for the groom too!). I think we got Jimmy Johns. Something you don’t think of and you will not have time to run out and do it yourself! Plus everyone gets hungry and angry on empty stomachs – not fun.
    2. Ask someone to gather all the gifts and cards and drop them off at your house after the wedding is over. The last thing you want to do is load up the car and haul all your packages home. Talk about a buzz kill!
    3. Ask someone to be your designated “gopher”: Give them all your vendor contact names and numbers, and run any last minute errands you forgot to do on your wedding day (it WILL happen). For example, “Oh no! I forgot my Spanx at home! Sally, can you run to my apartment and get them for me?”. Easy peasy. This way you’re not panicking and can enjoy your wedding day getting ready, looking pretty and being fully in the moment! It goes so fast. Plus the peace of mind is priceless.

    CAN’T wait to see everything you do!

  • Weddings are crazy expensive especially on your own dime LOL! As a professional event planner who planned her own wedding and refused to hire a wedding planner…

    My only advice is to hire and PAY someone to help the day of (a friend or family member sometimes doesn’t always focus as well if they are an attending guest too).

    Don’t hire the catering company or venue rep (in most cases but you are in good hands) because they are too attached to their company (I did this and the girl was too busy focusing on her staff that a few things fell through the crack that I really wanted to happen). She claimed she could be the day of wedding planner but it didn’t really work out that way.

    Create an event timeline with everyone’s phone numbers and distribute to your wedding party and vendors. (I know you have a template LOL)

    Hold a walk through meeting (catering, venue, florist, etc) 1-2 weeks prior. Ask them to walk you through exactly what they will be doing to be sure it’s what was requested.

    Love you girl!! It’s going to be a great wedding – you’ll be in good hands.

    • Alison, you are amazing!! We might need to have a ‘wedding meeting’ so you can help me make sure I’m on track and not forgetting anything!! I’ve been busy planning the honeymoon, I’m putting the wedding stuff on the back burner! … oops!!